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A Survey on
Enjoying Verse
Use a
No. 2 Pencil only.
Make
solid marks that darken your response and your
mood completely.
Do not
use ink, ballpoint or felt tip pens in any
color.
You must
not enjoy filling out this survey in various
hues.
For the
first 7 questions, please fill in the response
which best
corresponds to the canon which does not include
you and
performance poetry that believes in sexy, bad
language.
Interpret the three previous
adjectives—performance, sexy and bad as you
will.
-
In
the past week, how many times have you been
asked to purchase titles that have not been
spellchecked?
-
If
clichés were offered daily during meals, how
often would you lose your appetite?
-
If
you purchased at least one drink at a
pretentious club and/or open mic, were you
nauseated or too drunk to remember any of
the poems?
If you
heard poetry , did you listen to it at one of
the following places? Please mark YES or NO next
to 4. through 8. (If you did not listen to any
poetry, please skip to question 9.)
4.
Alone in a smoky bar while wishing your sorry
ass lover would take you back.
5. At a
poetry slam since that’s how you get to go on
tour and hawk the CDs you just burned and the
chapbook with your picture on the front.
6. At a
respected literary organization or conference so
academes, publishers and editors know you’re a
REAL poet.
7. At a
jazzy nightclub reminiscent of the Miles Davis
album cover for Some Kind of Blue or the video
for the digable planets’ 1997 hit “Cool Like
Dat.”
8.
Bobbin’ your head in the freestyle cipher
because you need that hip hop/spoken word
adhesive to make it stick.
The
following statements are regarding poetry.
Please tell us if you agree or disagree with
each statement.
9.
Listening to poetry makes me seem sexy or
cultured.
10.
Reading other poets might influence my
work.
11.
If you
think there are poets of color that we
professors need to read, then tell me, who we
should read?
12.
There
are no women writing anything worth listening
to.
13.
Poems
are supposed rhyme, right?
14.
Somehow
the postmodern paradigms have been
transmogrified by these mongrelized attempts at
formalist structures that avoid narrative
constructs through nonlinear inventions that
deconstruct our understanding of language.
We are
interested in your knowledge regarding poetry.
Please respond True, False or Unsure to the
following.
15.
I have
read at least four Pulitzer Prize-winning poets.
16.
The only
two poets I know are Maya Angelou and Langston
Hughes.
17.
Poetry
is low in agent-hungry fat.
18.
Poetry
may contain some pesticides and cliché residues.
19.
Some
poems suffer from over-workshopping.
20.
The
Environmental Protection Agency and Food and
Drug Administration agree with Gil Scott-Heron
that poetry will not make you five pounds
thinner.
We would
like to know your reasons for not buying
poetry. Please indicate the answers that
correspond most closely with your excuse.
21.
I
couldn’t find the poetry section at the
bookstore, much less the book.
22.
I can
read it on the internet.
23.
I used
my money to buy the latest urban classic
PimpHand: Smack Them Hoes Wit Love.
24.
You want
me to read something?
25.
I write
it and I don’t make enough money to buy a damn
thang. Wanna buy my book? |
